Saturday, October 31, 2015

This Day in Cats: #Caturday Issue Six 10.31.15 Now with Bonus Content!

It's a Happy Halloween Special

#Caturday Everyone!

Now with Bonus Content!
Animals of All Sorts With Pumpkins!













http://bit.do/bsfmD
http://ow.ly/U5lml

Friday, October 30, 2015

Non-Steading Holiday Sampler! #FreebieFriday

Do you dislike mason jars?

Do you dread being dragged from bed at dawn on weekends to help garden?

Do you love your friends but hate hearing about their hobbies?

Do you prefer distractions that are streaming?

You may be a Non-Steader...

To help you find out, here's an excerpt from my book, Non-Steading! It's free right now, today only! #FreebieFriday

Sample of Chapter 8 - Non-Steading at the Holidays

Halloween/All Souls' Day


Beyond even Christmas and Easter, this is probably the largest homesteader holiday, if only because it allows them to showcase all of their tips and tricks in a practical setting where it is hard to criticize. If the old November holiday was created for homesteaders, then this was one is almost certainly created by them every year.

Do you want to bob for apples? There is a homesteader in your community that has been restoring old oak barrels for the last eleven months for just that purpose and he cannot wait to tell you about it. Did you want to dress up as something? There is a contingent of PinThings people who have done nothing for the last 90 days but look up costume ideas and how-to infographics.

If you were hoping for a quick jaunt out to trick or treat with your kids, abandon all hope ye who exit your houses. This is the one holiday that isn’t tied to meeting up with some part of your family, so I would suggest Non-Steaders dress up, make one trip to the grocery store, together, in costume, purchase candy you actually want now that it’s on clearance and then go home and watch horror movies. These scary images will help distract you from the homesteaders as they celebrate their favorite holiday. On All Souls' Day, and even into Day of the Dead, depending on where you live, they may persist. If possible, just hibernate until it’s all over.




http://ow.ly/TAO7U

Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Where do all the #SceneGirls go?

That moment when you catch yourself thinking like an adult...

Interesting...
I also like cupcakes.
Lately there's been a trend of something I've come to identify as Scene Kids, specifically the female of the species. They are not to be confused with (but are similar to) hipsters, indie, goth, emo, and indie girls. Here's a handy quiz in case you need to know where you fall. I was just looking through random stuff online and I had a thought... I worried about how this might affect their future.

It's fine to dye your hair a fun mermaid color when you already have a job, or get piercings and tattoos where no one can see them, or wear interesting clothing. I think the same rules apply to most things in my mind:

If you are an adult who pays their own bills and is independent of anyone else, then you have the right and freedom to make any choices you want, provided you are willing to live with the consequences.


Awww, like this. She's 20.
Photo credit val-empathic.tumblr.com
But what about if you're 15 and you really want to get a lip ring and dye your hair green and pink?

I had a cousin who went through it a few years ago. That story does not end happily, but it does illustrate my point... when I was 15 I had no idea what my life was going to be like in a week, let alone a decade. I see all these really adorable girls on Tumblr or in my town at grocery stores or at concerts or at bars (if you hit a college hangout) who are clearly part of whatever the 'scene' is for "Scene Girls".

They have the hair, the make up, the clothes, the piercings, and I assume the Instaham and KikMe accounts. Some of them are really, really young! And they are really, really into things on the internet that seem questionable safety-wise. There's a WikiHow where they specifically encourage these girls to "model".

I don't think that's really sound life advice. This seems to be a sort of "famous for being famous" training program where you start getting random likes and favorites from strangers based solely on your looks at a really, really young age. Need proof? Here's a NSFW Tumblr. Check those numbers. Girls are desperate for attention and validation. The internet specializes at the illusion of both. Also, side note, I really hope those girls are legal.

I can't stress enough that no teenager escapes that time of their lives without some sort of permanent battle scars, that almost goes without saying. But do you really want to base your entire future on how "the sex" you looked in your selfie? Or worse, pin your entire future career path on what your InstaTumbBook page looks like from high school/collegeWhat are they going to do when they're 30? Do we want a world where that's the norm? I doubt it. I certainly don't think that's a good idea.

There is nothing wrong with girls of any taking cute pictures, there is nothing wrong with having an online persona, there's nothing wrong with experimenting with hair, fashion, make-up, whatever. Any women who makes it to adulthood can look back and cringe and regale you with long-forgotten tales of what it meant to be "posh" or "grunge" or how awesome they looked in that baby doll dress or those platforms or that trucker hat.  Equally, we were all convinced that whatever we were doing was the best possible thing. We were so smart and we totally knew better than everyone else, because it's like my life and you can't live it for me and I know what I'm doing you're not the boss of me!

That's all part of growing up.


But another equally important part of growing up is forgetting some of that stuff. For example, there are no surviving pictures of my one high school male friend who wore heels and a dress and make up for a dare one night, because if there were, he probably couldn't go into politics now.

This is really the first generation that won't be able to forget their mistakes because they are committing them en masse to the bowels of the internet, and repeat after me, "The internet never forgets."

As a sort-of-adult now, I feel for them. I just... I just want them to make smart life choices and think about their actions and-

oh my god I've turned into my mother...

Please excuse me while I go dye my hair pink and jump on the bed while eating something terrible for dinner.






















http://bit.do/brtKa

Tuesday, October 27, 2015

#TuesdayBluesDay 10.27.15 Dream Lover

What's Playing at the Flamingo?

This week's #TuesdayBluesDay suggestion came from an Tumblr.

Please feel free to include your contact information in your submissions, along with the hashtag 
#TuesdayBluesDay so I know what it's for!
You can submit them:

Here on the blog as a comment!
On Twitter @nonsteader!
Through fan mail on Tumblr!
Email me at nonsteader@gmail.com!

Artist: Bobby Darin

Song: "Dream Lover"

Released: 1958

Chart: US No. 2

Label: Atlantic Records






http://bit.do/broV3

Sunday, October 25, 2015

Guest Post from A.J. Trevors, Author of The Gaia Chronicles: Birth of Hope

Hi, guys! This is A.J. here, author of the upcoming fantasy/sci-fi novel The Gaia Chronicles: Birth of Hope. Hope you enjoy my contribution to Hope's blog today and grab your copy of the book at the dates listed below.


How to Get Past Writer’s Block

Writer’s block is a condition that is associated with the inability to think of what to write and how to proceed with writing. For many aspiring authors, this is akin to a debilitating disease, a cancer that can eat away at the quality of your writing. Before you know it, your manuscript is at death’s door and the editors are unable to resuscitate it, shaking their heads in despair.

For writers, the block could arrive at any moment. Some experience it in the middle of their writing, their fingers flying in full flow across the keyboard before it stops jarringly; your brain applying the brakes on the highway of creative thought. It may arrive even before you start writing, that moment when you boot up your computer and your mind just runs a blank as your struggle to complete the first sentence.

Getting past the block is important. In my experience, good ideas come in spurts and I feel that it needs to get on paper somewhere, anywhere, before that spurt peters out into nothingness. A block can be like a dam, a solid, concrete wall that prevents the river of ideas from fully taking shape as a waterfall of words on your manuscript. This detriment of ideas needs to be combated so that the quality of your manuscript, as a whole, improves.

Here are a few ways I fought against the dreaded writer’s block as I completed by debut novel, The Gaia Chronicles: Birth of Hope:

  1. Express your ideas in bullet points before writing
My first suggestion may seem to be pretty obvious to many writers out there. However, it is a basic skill that is surprisingly not practiced by many writers. To them, they see no value in wasting their time listing down short pointers in the structure of their writing as they reason they might as well write it out instead!
However, I cannot stress enough how important it is to master this fundamental concept. By not writing your ideas down in bullet-point form, you leave yourself at the mercy of short-term memory of your original inspiration that your brain will conceive to forget just moments after you start writing. Always list down what you want to write and communicate to the readers before you start.
If you didn’t and face the block in the middle of your writing, don’t worry! My advice to you is to just stop writing and close your eyes for a few seconds. Then, start listing down the rest of your writing in bullet point form. You will be surprised to note that – it works!

  1. Read books that are similar to your writing style

Since The Gaia Chronicles was a scifi/fantasy novel, I would frequently come across writer’s block as I struggled to describe a desolate world destroyed by war. Description of places wouldn’t flow smoothly on paper and there were adjectives that were wholly inadequate in describing the environment characters had to face in each chapter.

When this occurred, I would take a break and, instead of brainstorming, just taking the time to read the works of other authors. There are many authors that I take inspiration from in terms of writing style. It’s all good to, metaphorically, learn from their feet and understand how they conveyed their ideas that could be similar to the problem you are facing.

Never be ashamed in learning from others. After all, life is short. We might as well learn how to write beautifully and professionally from those that made it before the chance passes us by.

  1. Call your friends out of the blue and talk

I believe that all writers can relate to this next statement. In plain English, writing dialogue sucks. When you have so many characters, with diverse motivations, histories and relationships with other characters mashed together in a 400 page manuscript, you are going to struggle differentiating how each speaks to each other. Each character needs their own nuance, inflections, habits of speech that only they do and helps the reader uniquely identify themselves with the character’s cause and actions.

In The Gaia Chronicles, writing dialogue was doubly hard as there were aliens, monsters and other characters that needed a totally different way of speaking compared to regular humans. As I pieced dialogue together, writer’s block occurred so frequently that I would struggle past a paragraph or two before calling it a day.

However, I found a partial cure to this problem. Whenever the block occurs, I would stop writing and just call a friend. You might ask ‘Why?’. Well, the reasons being is that I have a large selection of friends that come from all backgrounds and hence all have their own way of speaking. By talking to them, I would understand their inflections and habits which help shape the dialogue of a particular character. Friends can also give you support if you divulge your writing difficulties to them, lifting your spirit and renewing your determination to complete writing the dialogue.

  1. Take a break!

More often than not, the reason why you have writer’s block is due to the fact you overworked. You wrote too much, inspiration squeezing your brain dry until it can’t cope any longer. This is where it’s time to take a break and just do something else! Hit the gym, grab a snack or take a power nap. I guarantee that once you finish any of the above activities, you will get back to your computer with renewed determination and write the night away.


This is the end of my guest blog post. My thanks to Hope Woods for having me as a guest on her awesome blog! My author details are below:
Name:
Andy James Trevors
Age:
21
Nationality:
Australian
Books:
The Gaia Chronicles: Birth of Hope
Stab in the Back (Novella)
Phae and the Sun Chariot (Novella)

Release Date for The Gaia Chronicles: Birth of Hope

Pre-order Available: January 15th 2016. Order during this time to get the pre-order price! $2.99

Release Date: February 1st 2016 Retail price $4.99

Find me on Social Media:
Facebook.com/andyjamestrevors
Twitter.com/andyjamestrevor

Saturday, October 24, 2015

This Day in Cats: #Caturday Issue Five 10.24.15

This week's Halloween themed #Caturday is easy. What goes together better than kitties and pumpkins?


Pictures are not mine.



http://bit.do/bqRuE 

Friday, October 23, 2015

Happy Birthday Archie Goodwin!


Since this is Girl Week, who could resist ending it with a celebration?

I love celebrating fictional birthdays. Mostly because I don't have to buy any presents.

But this one is special. It's Archie Goodwin's birthday. Wolfe gives him a beautiful bill fold, Cattleya orchids on one side, 52 Colt automatics on the other. Archie would trade it for New York City, if you "threw in a couple of the nicer suburbs". I'm sure Fritz made the best cake ever to celebrate.

This is just another great example of Wolfe taking the time to actually show the appreciation he clearly feels for the work that Archie does. It's a great time for us to appreciate all of the joy we get from reading Nero Wolfe, since without Archie, the books would be rather boring.

So, grab a slice of cake, a Nero Wolfe novel and wish Mr. Goodwin a very happy birthday.




Thursday, October 22, 2015

#ThursdayLifeSupport Mom Edition

This edition of #ThursdayLifeSupport is focused on women, in honor of Girl Week.
We all know someone who is this mom, or wants to be this mom. That last thing, we all want to find a co-parent that cool.

Just in case you needed a smile to get you through until Friday.
#ThursdayLifeSupport







Wednesday, October 21, 2015

Back to the Future Day: October 21, 2015

Now, my friend Belle had a good point.

As we all saw on Twitter and everywhere else, hoverboard tech has apparently be modernized and is now available from Lexus of all companies. But that doesn't fulfill the promises made by our favorite time travel movie.

Hover-boards in that world are not a luxury item, they are literally as ubiquitous as skateboards. Marty glides around on one, and doesn't treat it as if he is driving a luxury vehicle. The board from Lexus costs something like TEN GRAND! That's hardly something a kid with a job delivering papers could save up for over a summer.

Plus, I haven't seen any of these operating on different surfaces. They are all meant to be run on specially designed ramps, perfectly flat areas, etc. They are hardly as versitile as a skateboard is, from road to sidewalk to hardwood floor if you want to piss off your parents/landlord/mall cops. This is just as bad as the Kickstarter from like a year ago where they quickly sold out, but still haven't really produced an actual hoverboard.

So, for all of us who can't wait for that tech to not only exist, but be affordable for everyone who could purchase a skateboard, our wait continues. Damn you for getting my hopes up, today of all days!

At least the Cubs are still in the playoffs, for now.

#JewelryP*rn

Stuff Girls Like for Girl Week


Now, this is not what some of you think it is. If you are male, this may be the only type of porn you won't find interesting. Feel free to leave, I understand.

For those of you who are still here... do we agree this is totally a thing?

I love looking at jewelry. I'm not getting married or buying anything really fancy. I won't apologize. I like looking. I don't know if it's more common among brides-to-be or maybe those shopping for anniversary presents or just really rich people who can buy whatever they want. I'm none of those things and I still can't resist it.

I'm not even window shopping. I'm just... admiring? Peeping sounds bad. Can you be voyeuristic about luster and sparkle?

I really enjoy just combing through random listings on Etsy, eBay, Google Images, I'm a sucker for glitter and gleam. I have some nice jewelry and I don't have anything that I'm really envious over. I'm not looking through and thinking, "I hate my life because I don't have that!" I just enjoy seeing all of those necklaces, bracelets, earrings, pins, hairclips, rings, all of it. The colors, the textures, the radiance.

There's Tumblrs and Pins and Twitter Feeds and Facebook and Instagram and Forums and just a whole bunch of awesome stuff.

So is this just me? Am I alone in my lust for pretty gems?

My own personal kink, my favorite thing?

#RingPorn

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

National Day on Writing

#WhyIWrite



#TuesdayBluesDay 10.20.15 Begin the Beguine

What's Playing at the Flamingo?

This week's #TuesdayBluesDay suggestion came from me!

It's Girl Week, so I wanted to do something a little special.

Please feel free to include your contact information in your submissions, along with the hashtag #TuesdayBluesDay so I know what it's for!
You can submit them:

Here on the blog as a comment!
On Twitter @nonsteader!
Through fan mail on Tumblr!
Email me at nonsteader@gmail.com!

The Scene:

It's just after nine pm on rain-slicked October night in 1938. A couple is on a date for the evening, and they have arrived at the Flamingo Club NYC.

The dance floor is barren and the murmur over drinks is noticeable as an orchestra sets up on stage. Seeming a bit nervous, the band leader makes some last-minute adjustments. As the brass section finishes polishing their hardware, they take their seats. Drinks and conversation seem to lull as an attentive crowd faces the assembled men and instruments.

Our couple is in love and high on champagne. They happen to be standing, their coats and hats already checked, on the edge of the wooden square which extends out from the stage. The band skips the tuning, the front-man steps to the microphone and says in a pleasing tenor, "And now ladies and gentleman, our own version of Cole Porter's Begin the Beguine..."

He turns to cue the orchestra and our young lovers don't waste a moment. Music begins to swirl from the stage to the floor and they are drawn, smiling, out onto the sprung floor.

Let's listen in...


Artist: Artie Shaw, written by Cole Porter

Song: "Begin the Beguine"

Released: Recorded 1938

Chart: US No. 3

Label: Bluebird Records


http://ow.ly/TDVG2



Monday, October 19, 2015

#GirlRant: Haircuts

Clockwise from top left:
Good. Bad. Good. Very Bad.
I have this problem. I have really thick, not curly, but not quite straight, half and half fluffy hair. And it's long. There's a lot of it. Like waist length. It's just difficult. In every sense of the word.

You've seen those jokes, comics, blog posts, etc where the person goes in for a trim and ends up bald? Yeah, I'm beginning to think bald would have been an improvement.

I asked for face framing layers, I got really awkward angles that do nothing for my hair or my face.

I asked for a few random pieces that would hang down nicely when I put my hair up. I got a uniform line instead.

I asked for long layers on the back and sides, because my hair will just rebel if you don't have enough weight to keep it down. I got something weird that makes my hair look like it's trying to audition for a White Snake video.

I really wish there was a better way to explain to someone what I'm trying to do. I take pictures. I ask questions. I have like a 10 minute soul-bonding session with the stylist. I know her children and their life stories, and I still cannot get someone to cut my hair properly. I don't understand.

I now welcome ideas, suggestions, your experiences, anything. Lets's solve this problem.

Sunday, October 18, 2015

Some Buried Caesar by Rex Stout

I've been rereading Some Buried Caesar today and I found one of my favorite, seminal "Archie" quotes. Since it is Sunday, and technically I don't have anything scheduled, I thought it would be fun to just do a quick graphic and give Archie some long overdue quotation spotlight.


Saturday, October 17, 2015

This Day in Cats: #Caturday Issue Four 10.17.15

It's another October #Caturday, this time featuring Orange Tabby Cats.


Or as I like to say, Pumpkin Spice Kitties!





http://ow.ly/Thl3a

Friday, October 16, 2015

#FreebieFriday here at the Non-Steader!

Go here TODAY October 16th, 2015

http://amzn.com/B014OKNOZE


and get a free copy of




In honor of #FreebieFriday!

Today, I'm giving away free copies of my book over at Amazon. Please give it a read! If you like it, maybe pretty please post a review. That would be super.

Thanks!

http://ow.ly/ThkB6

Thursday, October 15, 2015

Original Halloween Art 2015

I have serious adoration for the artist who does my book covers.

I'm so pleased to announce that the art has found a new home! @QuietQuitter can now be found at Ello!

For Halloween this year, there are four new original art pieces which I fell in love with. It's all great and super dark and scary. I swear I'm going to have to write a horror story just to use this last one, The Devil's Tree, as the cover art. I call dibs!

Evil Eye

Hanged

Lost in the Woods

The Devil's Tree


http://ow.ly/ThkZB

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

FREE eBook Wednesday!

If you just want to skip to the free stuff:


Go here TODAY Wednesday 10.14.15

http://amzn.com/B014OKNOZE


and get a free copy of 

This is my book. It's a little pink, I know.

I have gone up in the Amazon Rankings!

I have also launched my new website!
www.thathopewoods.com
Please come by and check it out. All of places you can find me, updates, everything!


I never expected to become rich or famous just from writing a book about Pinterest widows and Instagremlins why you should avoid anything with the word "project" involved. I just thought there might be a few people who felt like I did. People who couldn't understand the need to DIY or bedazzle or 'upcycle'.

At least one other person feels the same way! That, honestly, made my whole life. I wrote something, and someone read it. That's really all writers can ask for.

In honor of this momentous occasion, I would like to offer my book free for today. I've never done any sort of free day so if it's a disaster, please be gentle!

http://ow.ly/ThkXt

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

#TuesdayBluesDay 10.13.15 Am I Asking Too Much

What's Playing at the Flamingo?

This week's #TuesdayBluesDay suggestion came from Twitter.

Please feel free to include your contact information in your submissions, along with the hashtag 
#TuesdayBluesDay so I know what it's for!
You can submit them:

Here on the blog as a comment!
On Twitter @nonsteader!
Through fan mail on Tumblr!
Email me at nonsteader@gmail.com!


Artist: Dinah Washington

Song: "Am I Asking Too Much?

Released: 1948

Chart: US R&B No. 1

Label: Mercury Records




http://ow.ly/ThkWr

Monday, October 12, 2015

Getting ready for #TuesdayBluesDay!

Every Tuesday, the Non-Steader blog showcases a classic from 1929 to 1975. These will be songs that could have swept Archie Goodwin and Lily Rowen (or any number of willing suspects- er, partners) into a passionate embrace. They may be fast or slow, vocal or instrumental, well known, or hidden gem.

This week's song is already chosen but send your suggestions in now for a chance to be next week's feature! If you want publicity for your tweets, blog or page, picking a song is an easy way to get a mention. Just include your contact info with your musical choice and I'll make sure to include it on the post.


Thanks guys! Really looking forward to those song choices!





http://ow.ly/TjEak

Sunday, October 11, 2015

Tentative Book Promotion Ideas

Kindle eBook
Everyone has told me that one of the best ways to get your writing out there is promotion. Whether it's giving your book away for free or newsletters or buying advertising, you really have to promote the hell out of your book.

There's only one problem with that. I'm terrible at asking people to buy things. I would much rather you decide on your own, independently, that you would like to purchase something I wrote, or read something I posted or what have you. I don't think I've mentioned the fact that I wrote a book since like the second day of this blog. I started this blog to tell people about my writing. And I did. I told them once, politely, at the beginning. Is it wrong that I feel like that should be enough?

Given that type of mentality, I've asked for suggestions and assistance. A few of my good friends on Twitter, Tumblr, etc. have agreed to help out. I think I'm going to try one of those newfangled promotional deals that KDP offers: the free book.

From what I understand it's essentially you giving away a copy of your book for roughly 24 hours. You make no money from it, but it's supposed to generate word of mouth buzz interest readership penetration. So, we're going to give that a shot. Probably some day this week, I'll make my book free for a day and we'll see how that goes. I will try to find a reason to be excited about it. Really, what I'm hoping will happen is reviews.

I still don't have any reviews as far as I know on my Amazon ebook. I don't know if that's because no one has purchased it... or because no one has read it... or what's going on there. But I'm pretty sure I said I wanted an email if I had a review posted and there have been no emails. So, I'll have to check that out. What about you, my blog reading friends... if I gave away my book for free would you rate it on Amazon and perhaps post a few kind words? Am I even allowed to ask that?



http://ow.ly/ThkbR

#NationalComingOutDay: Support and Kittens for Everyone and Anyone Who Needs It!

This post is for anyone who is coming out, planning on coming out, has come out, has been the receiver of a coming out, has had a friend or loved one come out, has come out of their house to get the paper, has ever come out of a closet and had a random guy yell, "Hey look (guffaw) you're coming out of the closet dude!" Literally anything coming out or closet related, this is for you.

I'm not that old. Honestly, I know I feel that old some days, but I'm not bedridden or grey haired, yet. I have been told on occasion that I have an "old soul" but I think that's just a way of politely saying I know more than I should or that I'm intuitive or empathetic. More importantly, people always end up feeling instinctively that they can talk to me. About anything. As if I am somehow intrinsically trustworthy.
Have some kittens.
It's going to be alright.



They're not wrong. I never share secrets without a damn good reason. Over the years, this has led to a higher-than-normal amount of people using me as their sounding board for coming out. I usually get the tearful pre-coming-out phone call. Typically, asking if I would still be friends (or ceramic class partners, family, whatever) with the person if they decided they were something "else" that people didn't "normally accept" or similarly worded language.
Everything is fluffy and awesome.


Seriously. You know Fez gives
me nightmares.
My answer is usually something slightly sarcastic and incredulous like, "Well duh. I mean, I didn't stop being friends with you when you started liking One Direction. I didn't disown you after you made me watch That 70's Show. And you know how much I hate that show... Why would I stop being friends with you now?" It usually makes them giggle and breaks some of the incredible tension they've been feeling. I understand that not everyone can react with humor or even comfort the first time they hear someone they care about is coming out. Sometimes it can be difficult or scary to hear. And it's not usually because you think they're making the wrong choice, but because you're an adult. You've seen how hard it can be for anyone who doesn't live a "traditionally accepted" life.


We all wanted Brian. And Justin.
And the cute lesbians.
It's okay.
So, the first bit of good news! It is now easier than ever for non-traditional lifestyles to find acceptance. Online dating is there if you live in a small town where there's no awesome bar like on Queer as Folk. Gay/Straight Alliances are found at even the most unlikely schools. The large majority of people now accept that this is happening and they should probably stop being hateful. We've legalized gay marriage in most of the states now I think. Really, we're miles from where the people who are listening to the coming out speeches were when they had to form their battle hardened adult shells. So, cheer up! I'm not saying that living life is going to be easy, but look at all of you straight people out there who still can't find the loves of your lives! Does it seem like it's super easy for you either? Of course not, life is hard. That's fine.

The second bit of good news! If you are hearing from someone today that they are slightly different than you may have thought, be honored! They trust you. They care what you think. This is probably one of the hardest moments of their lives and you just get to relax and smile and say "Cool." at the end of it and that's it. Success! Hearing someone come out doesn't mean you throw a party or even that you change anything at all about how you treat them. I mean, you can throw a party. Who doesn't love cake?! So, take what they are giving you with grace and love and then let them know it's cool.


Cause we paint with ALL the colors here.
Now, for those of you who are coming out or plan to come out or have not yet come out. You may find this post. You may find plenty of other stuff on the interwebz talking about how it's a day of support, acceptance and a bunch of other positivity. While that is true, do not feel like you have to do anything right this minute. Coming out is an extremely personal process and you should never feel pressured by a hashtag. While joining a movement can be comforting, it isn't always the best way to get to your destination. That being said, take your time. Consider everything. Make the decision to come out when it's right for you, not the internet. Most of all, know that being a good person is always going to be more important that who you're sleeping with, and focus on what really matters in life. Good luck. I'm here if you need me.

It's going to be fine, have another kitten.
We have plenty.


Academic stuff.
Sexuality is fluid. Most people know what the Kinsey scale is, at least now they do. For those of you who don't, it's a handy way of measuring how "gay or straight" a person is. It's a self-measuring tool, but occasionally the results can be helpful in a clinical or therapeutic setting.

You can take a test here: Kinsey Scale Test and your results will be scored on one of these blue academic-looking scale things. There's a scale with 1-6, but there's a huge amount of variance contained in those simple numbers. Your results, if you take that test up there will look something like this:





Human sexuality really looks more like this:
Look at all the COLORS!

My point here is that most people don't fall strictly on one end of the spectrum or the other. We're all a mess of human instinct and sexual deviance and fetishes and emotions and a bunch of other stuff. What you like now may not be what you're into in 50 years. Goodness knows there's a huge amount of different between who I would consider sleeping with now compared to when I was 18.




Things can change. You may want to tick a different box someday. Or a few boxes. Or all the boxes and then erase and start over. Or just draw a picture on the side. Whatever!



Be tolerant. Be loving. Be honest with yourself and those around you. There's nothing wrong with living your life in the vicinity of a bunch of boxes, instead of inside just one.



Special thanks to Belle for her awesome graphics skills!

http://ow.ly/Tg0HH