Non-Steading Holiday Sampler! #FreebieFriday

Do you dislike mason jars?

Do you dread being dragged from bed at dawn on weekends to help garden?

Do you love your friends but hate hearing about their hobbies?

Do you prefer distractions that are streaming?

You may be a Non-Steader...

To help you find out, here's an excerpt from my book, Non-Steading! It's free right now, today only! #FreebieFriday

Sample of Chapter 8 - Non-Steading at the Holidays

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Halloween/All Souls' Day

Beyond even Christmas and Easter, this is probably the largest homesteader holiday, if only because it allows them to showcase all of their tips and tricks in a practical setting where it is hard to criticize. If the old November holiday was created for homesteaders, then this was one is almost certainly created by them every year.

Do you want to bob for apples? There is a homesteader in your community that has been restoring old oak barrels for the last eleven months for just that purpose and he cannot wait to tell you about it. Did you want to dress up as something? There is a contingent of PinThings people who have done nothing for the last 90 days but look up costume ideas and how-to infographics.

If you were hoping for a quick jaunt out to trick or treat with your kids, abandon all hope ye who exit your houses. This is the one holiday that isn’t tied to meeting up with some part of your family, so I would suggest Non-Steaders dress up, make one trip to the grocery store, together, in costume, purchase candy you actually want now that it’s on clearance and then go home and watch horror movies. These scary images will help distract you from the homesteaders as they celebrate their favorite holiday. On All Souls' Day, and even into Day of the Dead, depending on where you live, they may persist. If possible, just hibernate until it’s all over.

http://ow.ly/TAO7U

Happy Autumn!

I think it's officially the end of summer, and the start of fall.

You all know what this means...

Well, if you had read my book (which by all accounts no one has) you would know!

Fall is the beginning of the best season for Homesteaders, Pinteresters, DIYers, and all other people who want to do something "fun" or make something "pop". It has begun, I assure you.

I would say watch your back, but it's probably more important to watch your surroundings. If you see signs of the encroaching invasion, run to the nearest television, sit down in front of it and refuse to acknowledge the existence of anyone. That may work.

If you see mason jars begin to appear in your residence, move out immediately.

I hate mason jars.

I hate mason jars...

Hear me out, I know it seems weird. But I really can't take much more.

I just received a gift.

Gifts are supposed to be great, who doesn't love a random present?

My gift consisted of some form of dry good packed into a mason jar and tied with a ribbon.

That is not a gift, that is a chore. Not only do I have to purchase items I do not currently have, such as milk and butter and eggs, but I will also have to deal with repeated questions about this gift, such as "Have you made it yet? Was it delicious? Wasn't it just the best thing ever?!"

I will say yes to all of those questions. That will be a lie. I cannot construct culinary dishes more complex than Top Ramen and I resent your assumption that I would want to.

*sigh* Please stop giving me gifts which I have to make myself. That isn't a gift. It's a chore.

If you have similar problems and would like tips on how to talk to the people in your life about not giving you terrible gifts in the future, stick around!

My book will be up on Amazon soon, perhaps give them a copy. Maybe they will get the hint...