Wolfe on Women

"It has been many years since any woman has slept under this roof. Not that I disapprove of them, except when they attempt to function as domestic animals. When they stick to the vocations for which they are best adapted, such as chicanery, sophistry, self-adornment, cajolery, mystification and incubation, they are sometimes splendid creatures."

- Nero Wolfe, The Rubber Band (1936) pg. 94

"Not like women? They are astounding and successful animals."

-Nero Wolfe, Too Many Cooks (1938) p. 107

Wolfe has always seemed remarkable to me. I've been enthralled with the way he views one whole half of the species. There is a second, better example of this train of thought, in a later book. I'm working my way through another rereading, this time meticulously hunting for that quote.

I finally found it but forgot to write down which book, "Orchids were his concubines, insipid, expensive, parasitic and temperamental." I think Archie actually says it, but the thought is the same: Wolfe has flowers so that he can avoid having a woman.

The main impression that you get from Wolfe is that he doesn't hate women, he merely disapproves of their abilities insofar as they interfere with his life. Even his cleaning staff are a troupe of males. I was recently reading Over My Dead Body and it was such an interesting avenue for his disdain to explore. Now that he has a "shapely responsibility" to consider, he doesn't seem to change his thoughts in the slightest. It probably doesn't help that this particular example is a walking example of his prejudices.

In any case, this mentality just fascinated me since it was obviously designed by a man who didn't appear to hate women (Rex Stout). More so, this came about in an era where women were not often seen as capable of anything, certainly not something complicated like mystification. This was such a unique view to have at this point in time, because even though it is clear that Wolfe wants women nowhere near his home, he still respects their inherent danger.

This led me to have a really interesting thought, on the nature of women as Wolfe might see them in the light of the 21st century.

Women are feline by nature. If they are born with domestic inclinations, then they may be quite happy with a domesticated existence, much like the indoor house cat. They might enjoy the freedom of being an outdoor cat, running around before always returning home to familiar surroundings. If they are born feral, you will only get yourself hurt trying to capture them. If they are born wild like a lioness, they can never truly be domesticated. They can have their spirit broken and become even more dangerous. Once you have failed to dominate this apex predator, you can never turn your back on them.

Where do all the #SceneGirls go?

That moment when you catch yourself thinking like an adult...

Interesting...
I also like cupcakes.

Lately there's been a trend of something I've come to identify as Scene Kids, specifically the female of the species. They are not to be confused with (but are similar to) hipsters, indie, goth, emo, and indie girls. Here's a handy quiz in case you need to know where you fall. I was just looking through random stuff online and I had a thought... I worried about how this might affect their future.

It's fine to dye your hair a fun mermaid color when you already have a job, or get piercings and tattoos where no one can see them, or wear interesting clothing. I think the same rules apply to most things in my mind:

If you are an adult who pays their own bills and is independent of anyone else, then you have the right and freedom to make any choices you want, provided you are willing to live with the consequences.

Awww, like this. She's 20.
Photo credit val-empathic.tumblr.com

But what about if you're 15 and you really want to get a lip ring and dye your hair green and pink?

I had a cousin who went through it a few years ago. That story does not end happily, but it does illustrate my point... when I was 15 I had no idea what my life was going to be like in a week, let alone a decade. I see all these really adorable girls on Tumblr or in my town at grocery stores or at concerts or at bars (if you hit a college hangout) who are clearly part of whatever the 'scene' is for "Scene Girls".

They have the hair, the make up, the clothes, the piercings, and I assume the Instaham and KikMe accounts. Some of them are really, really young! And they are really, really into things on the internet that seem questionable safety-wise. There's a WikiHow where they specifically encourage these girls to "model".

I don't think that's really sound life advice. This seems to be a sort of "famous for being famous" training program where you start getting random likes and favorites from strangers based solely on your looks at a really, really young age. Need proof? Here's a NSFW Tumblr. Check those numbers. Girls are desperate for attention and validation. The internet specializes at the illusion of both. Also, side note, I really hope those girls are legal.

I can't stress enough that no teenager escapes that time of their lives without some sort of permanent battle scars, that almost goes without saying. But do you really want to base your entire future on how "the sex" you looked in your selfie? Or worse, pin your entire future career path on what your InstaTumbBook page looks like from high school/college? What are they going to do when they're 30? Do we want a world where that's the norm? I doubt it. I certainly don't think that's a good idea.

There is nothing wrong with girls of any taking cute pictures, there is nothing wrong with having an online persona, there's nothing wrong with experimenting with hair, fashion, make-up, whatever. Any women who makes it to adulthood can look back and cringe and regale you with long-forgotten tales of what it meant to be "posh" or "grunge" or how awesome they looked in that baby doll dress or those platforms or that trucker hat.  Equally, we were all convinced that whatever we were doing was the best possible thing. We were so smart and we totally knew better than everyone else, because it's like my life and you can't live it for me and I know what I'm doing you're not the boss of me!

That's all part of growing up.

But another equally important part of growing up is forgetting some of that stuff. For example, there are no surviving pictures of my one high school male friend who wore heels and a dress and make up for a dare one night, because if there were, he probably couldn't go into politics now.

This is really the first generation that won't be able to forget their mistakes because they are committing them en masse to the bowels of the internet, and repeat after me, "The internet never forgets."

As a sort-of-adult now, I feel for them. I just... I just want them to make smart life choices and think about their actions and-

oh my god I've turned into my mother...

Please excuse me while I go dye my hair pink and jump on the bed while eating something terrible for dinner.

http://bit.do/brtKa