Seasonal Gourds

You have got to be kidding me. Et tu, Google?

Is this a thing? I feel like it's a thing. As a committed Non-Steader, I find Fall a trying time. As in, people are constantly trying my patience with things like this.

No. No, I am not going to put up a "Seasonal Display". I got roped into making a "Fall Wreath" a few weeks ago, and now we ARE NOT EVEN GOING TO USE IT.
Because reasons?

Apparently, it's not "pretty" enough or it isn't "sending the right message". It's fall. The wreath is orange. Just out of curiosity, WHAT MESSAGE ARE YOU TRYING TO SEND?!

I don't like pumpkin spice flavored anything and no I don't want to go pumpkin picking. This is barbaric. I will get a pumpkin at WalMart if I want a damn pumpkin, just like ANY NORMAL PERSON WOULD!

Decorative gourds. Dollar Tree has gourds, in case you needed some. I noticed we're already popping up with the Halloween candy and decorations in some places... I'm looking at you K-mart! It's not even October yet.

You know what's insidious? We all know to watch out for the pumpkin flavorings, so this year they got smart... they got devious. We were all prepared for Pumpkin Spice so they flanked us. They took their seasonal-gourd-autumnal-pumpkin-costuming up a notch. They went stealth and introduced this:

Candy Corn Flavored Everything

Here's a short list -

http://mentalfloss.com/article/12737/11-foods-inspired-candy-corn

And here are some examples -

Happy Autumn!

I think it's officially the end of summer, and the start of fall.

You all know what this means...

Well, if you had read my book (which by all accounts no one has) you would know!

Fall is the beginning of the best season for Homesteaders, Pinteresters, DIYers, and all other people who want to do something "fun" or make something "pop". It has begun, I assure you.

I would say watch your back, but it's probably more important to watch your surroundings. If you see signs of the encroaching invasion, run to the nearest television, sit down in front of it and refuse to acknowledge the existence of anyone. That may work.

If you see mason jars begin to appear in your residence, move out immediately.

Top 10 Fall TV Shows (That I Plan to Watch and Why You Should Too)

These are in no particular order. The reasons listed are my own, and I don't expect anyone else to share them. Feel free to ask on Twitter if you have any questions. All premier dates are for the US. For times, check the internet to make sure you get the right one for your timezone.

Caskett

Castle:
Premiers Sept. 21st, 2015
Reasons to Watch - Fun, lovable, Nathan Fillion, Caskett.
Not only is the probably the best murder mystery show being produced in the US, it's got humor and intelligence. Plus, as I have mentioned, Nathan Fillion. That's really all you should need.

Supernatural:
Premiers Oct. 7th, 2015
Reasons to Watch - Scary, fun, SamDeanCas, practical ghost hunting advice.
This is a bit more for younger fans, but honestly if you started watching this when it first aired about a decade ago, you're probably in your 20s at least. This show has a mostly rabid fandom, and is actually fun to watch most of the time. I recommend catching up on Netflix just in case you want to know what's actually going on. Otherwise, tune in just for the eye candy and fun. Salt and burn people!

The Blacklist:
Premiers Oct. 1st, 2015
Reasons to Watch - Clever, Dark, James Spader's voice.
This show is also available on Netflix for catching up on the first two seasons. It probably gets the award for most lovable bad guy, who might not be bad, but still... It's twisty fun, and who can resist seeing the criminals they deal with each week? The underlying story about fathers, daughters and the fate of the free world is pretty gripping as well.

AHS Hotel:
Premiers Oct. 7th, 2015
Reasons to Watch - Horror, Lady Gaga, Innovation.
The last few seasons of AHS have been a bit hit-or-miss for me, but I honestly can't stop watching them. They are all beautiful to watch and the story lines are at least trying to be original while still giving enough familiar imagery to tug at your sense of nostalgia. This year, there will be a great setting in the haunted hotel, and hopefully a great cast including Kathy Bates. It's a bit of a "cross your fingers and hope this iteration is good" show, but worth checking out the first few episodes.

Criminal Minds:
Premiers Sept. 30th, 2015
Reasons to Watch - Intelligent, Lovable Characters, Great Murders, Garcia.
For those of you who haven't seen CM, it's got all the seasons on Netflix now, so get to work! This is by far one of the best shows, right up there with Murder, She Wrote and Quincy for staying power. A sometimes rotating cast, great story lines and murders to solve, this one is a must watch every year. Unless they got rid of Hotch or Garcia, then I'd be done.

Scandal:
Premieres Sept. 24th, 2015
Reasons to Watch - Hidden secrets, wine, love triangles, Mellie Grant.
You know when you find a show that infuriates you but you can't stop watching? That's what Scandal is for me. Watch the first four seasons on Netflix before jumping in for season 5 because this is not an easy to follow plot. Everyone is lying about everything to everybody else and it is just fabulous. Plus I always feel like I should be drinking wine when I watch Olivia and her white-hat turned slightly grey-er hat adventures. She has a passion for red, and I like to be sympathetic.

We are Scorpion.

Scorpion:
Premieres Sept. 21st, 2015
Reasons to Watch - Fast-paced, Sylvester, flashy, Ralph, Walter's sister.
This show. I seriously don't have words to describe why you need to watch it, you just do. It's so great and a little Magnum PI-ish and just fun. They do big things, they have the amazing Robert Patrick, they have the adorable kid, this show just has everything. You should do everyone a favor and watch the second season.

How to Get Away with Murder:
Premieres Sept. 24th 2015
Reasons to Watch - The girl from The Killing, dark secrets, murder plots, fast rewinds, Frank.
Frank is by far the most interesting part of this show. Well, and the girl from The Killing. We may actually get to find out "Who murdered Rosie Larsen?" this time around! The first season is up on Netflix, and it's by the same creator of Scandal. You can count on the tough as nails African-American goddess to be at the center, this time in the form of Viola Davis.

The Librarians:
Premieres Nov. 1st, 2015
Librarians, action, Christian Kane.
Reasons to Watch - Based of the popular TNT movie franchise "The Librarian: Quest for the Spear", et al. This has a fun cast, cute special effects and encourages reading. I can't imagine a better use for a television show. It also has the yummy and amazing Christian Kane, who you may have seen in Leverage. He is paired with several people including the somehow-in-this-show Rebecca Romijn, who I hope is not coming back for season 2. She wasn't great.

NCIS:
Premieres Sept. 22nd, 2015
Reason to Watch - Gibbs.
We all have to know what happened! I have to be honest, I'll probably stop watching this show completely if they kill off Gibbs. I can't stand Bishop, and Tim and Tony are fine, but they can't support the show alone. They could just make it a show about Abby, that's I'd watch. ffMaybe if they brought back Ziva... but anyway, this is all on Netflix as well, and worth the watch.

The best friendship on TV

Honorary Mentions:

Person of Interest
I've already written a whole thing about that show, so go look that up on my blog here.
Doctor Who

Don't act like you aren't excited!

Obviously I'm taking for granted here that you are already watching the Doctor, since it already premiered. If not, address that before continuing with the list.
Sherlock BBC
This should be coming back for a Christmas Special this year, and a new season in 2016. You're silly if you don't watch.
The League/South Park
These are just personal faves, but I understand they aren't for everyone. Check them out if you like funny and occasionally dirty jokes. Or if you want to stay at the EBDBBnB.