The Cinderella Laptop

Have you tried to purchase a computer recently?

I have and it was a nightmare.

As in all things, I am incredibly picky about what I want in a laptop. Yes, I know my desktop is for processing power and has a bigger screen, etc. But lately I've been toying around with a kids book idea and a few other things that require long hours. I don't like sitting at the computer for that length of time and it's actually quite a poor angle for drawing.

With that in mind, I went searching for a replacement laptop. Mine recently had an accident with a cat that left the fan broken and the hard drive disconnected. Luckily the cat was completely fine, which is really what matters. But I was out a laptop and I thought now would be the perfect time to start looking! Black Friday, Cyber Monday, plenty of other oddly expanding sale days, how hard can it be, right?

It's a miasma of despair and hopelessness. I don't want Windows 8 or Windows 10. We all know they are awful and I hate them. I want my old reliable Windows 7, because I'm a bit of a gamer sometimes and I like my OS to not fight with my gaming choices, or worse deem them "unsafe". For anyone who is about to list a laptop on eBay or a similar site, leave the OS alone! If the customer wants to upgrade they can do that when they get it, you are losing customers who are specifically looking for a machine that hasn't crossed over to the dark side!

I want at least 6 or 8 GB of RAM, but would prefer 12 or 16, because I'm using several graphics programs that require being able to do lots of things at once. Plus, the aforementioned gaming.

I know the AMD A-Series processors are slightly better than the Intel i7, if you have dedicated graphics, which I would also like! I'm fine with accepting a hybrid graphic build, if that's the only option, as I'm not doing any 3D gaming or hooking up an Oculus Rift. I promise to supply extra cooling power to compensate for the potential heat-sink issues.

I do not need a huge hard-drive! I don't plan to really save anywhere but the thumb drive I'm working on, so no, I don't need a terabyte, not even for extra storage, I have a secure external storage drive for that, and it's already got more TB than I could ever need! Honestly, I could live with 250 GB or less and no, it doesn't have to be a solid state drive, I promise not to handle it roughly or let it leave the house and ride on mass transit.

Everyone talks about how size is the most important thing. I don't care! It can have a 17 inch screen. It could have a tiny 13 inch screen because I just need the general concepts. It could have a 7 inch screen and it would still be better than trying to do everything on my cell phone, which is where I'm at now. Don't even get me started on that. I don't care if it's big or small or heavy or light, none of that really matters. It will be set on a mobile computer stand that I'll be dragging around from room to room when I feel like
moving around a bit or need to be somewhere to supervise something like heating repair or whatever.

I would like it to have a CPU speed of 2.3 ghz or better because again, program switching and various browser tabs and such, I need it to be zippy! I would obviously prefer something over 3 ghz, but I don't think it's entirely necessary.

Given my criteria, my wholly unreasonable list of wants, you would think it might make sense for me to just

 build it myself. I tried that. They were so unbelievably expensive that it was immediately out of range. I'm not spending two grand on a laptop. I didn't even spend that on my desktop! I don't think I've even spent that on a car! Cannibalizing the parts doesn't work either, as very little is cross-compatible. Plus, we've discussed my inability to "make" things. No one wants to repeat the great Toaster Fire of '02! So, I pretty much have to buy a used laptop, which is fine. If I could just find one. I'm starting to feel a bit like Prince Charming.

I guess what this really boils down to is a plea for help. If anyone knows someone, anyone, who has a computer that fits this description, please let me know. I will travel the breadth of my kingdom, speak with all in the land, or even pay reasonable shipping and handling charges.

Maybe there's someone out there who sees this blog who knows how to upgrade laptops and could help me form a plan of attack, or even just build one. I'm really pretty desperate. I'd take something close. The evil sisters would probably be close enough at this point.


💘 Hope