The Ballad of Seagram's Ginger Ale

My old friend

When I was craving ginger ale today... I had the saddest moment. I went into the store, walked to pick up a case of Seagram's and almost dropped it.

Someone had ruined it.

RUUUIIIIIEEEENNNND!

Seriously. They took out some quantity of sugar and replaced it with Splenda... Why? What possessed them? What conceivable idea could have skipped through their collective brain that made it seem like a good idea? There isn't any explanation that would justify this. You don't want sugar, drink diet. You want sugar, drink regular. You want to have some weird third option like Dr. Pepper 10 where it's some bastardized hybrid of something that tasted worse than anything ever did? That's your call! But you DO NOT ruin the regular in the process!!!

I mean seriously. Just why? I'll never get an answer, I know. But I had to ask. Now I will offer a sad ballad in my own private space, to salute the drink that got me through countless colds as a child, the only soda I could always count on my grandparents to actually have. My ginger ale. My Seagram's.