Seasonal Gourds

You have got to be kidding me. Et tu, Google?

Is this a thing? I feel like it's a thing. As a committed Non-Steader, I find Fall a trying time. As in, people are constantly trying my patience with things like this.

No. No, I am not going to put up a "Seasonal Display". I got roped into making a "Fall Wreath" a few weeks ago, and now we ARE NOT EVEN GOING TO USE IT.
Because reasons?

Apparently, it's not "pretty" enough or it isn't "sending the right message". It's fall. The wreath is orange. Just out of curiosity, WHAT MESSAGE ARE YOU TRYING TO SEND?!

I don't like pumpkin spice flavored anything and no I don't want to go pumpkin picking. This is barbaric. I will get a pumpkin at WalMart if I want a damn pumpkin, just like ANY NORMAL PERSON WOULD!

Decorative gourds. Dollar Tree has gourds, in case you needed some. I noticed we're already popping up with the Halloween candy and decorations in some places... I'm looking at you K-mart! It's not even October yet.

You know what's insidious? We all know to watch out for the pumpkin flavorings, so this year they got smart... they got devious. We were all prepared for Pumpkin Spice so they flanked us. They took their seasonal-gourd-autumnal-pumpkin-costuming up a notch. They went stealth and introduced this:

Candy Corn Flavored Everything

Here's a short list -

http://mentalfloss.com/article/12737/11-foods-inspired-candy-corn

And here are some examples -