Monday, February 15, 2016

How do they not know?

Ok, so lately I've been engaging in late night binges of TV shows I really don't care about. It's a nice insomniac ritual and I think it builds character to watch terrible things sometimes. After all, someone went out of their way to make this *insert media here* and someone should at least give it a try.

While I was combing through the dross, I came across several witty-ish shows that had potential. I found at least two that I plan to re-watch immediately because they were hidden gems. And I would say it was a 30/70 ratio of American to Foreign programming. That 70% includes Australia, UK, Ireland, Denmark, Sweden and a few others. It's a broad sample is what I'm saying here.


In every single show, regardless of origin point, there was at least one scene where a cell phone rang at an importune moment. It rang during funerals, during love scenes, during somber moments, during wedding speeches, during firings; it rang everywhere.


"Of course I can talk! They are just getting ready to lower
the coffin, so we're basically done. I'm so glad I left my volume
turned all the way up so I could take this really important call
from my roommate who just needs to tell me that the sink
is clogged! I know, right? Hi-jinks!"


Picture from bestadsontv.com

Yes, this is a particular formula, allowing an inanimate object to break the tension or distract the viewers momentarily. But can I just ask a question here? How do they not know? How do these characters, presumably at least the ones who are electing to attend these events that have been planned and discussed for some period of time, how do they not remember to put their phone on silent?


I know. I know it's a thing. It happens. There's always some jerk who forgets to turn his phone off in the movie theater and you hear him beeping awkwardly during the previews to shut it down/silence it. But a wedding? A funeral? A session of nudity where people are going to rub together?? That just seems unrealistic and annoying. It probably isn't so bad if you haven't watched like 12 shows all do the same thing back to back for a week, but still. How do you show up at your beloved Gammy's funeral and not turn your cell phone at least to vibrate? I mean, that just seems weird to leave it on full blast walking into a funeral.


Honestly, I wish that was all. I do. But it doesn't stop there. No, not only do these Luddites leave their ringtone volume maxed out all of the time and never shut it off, they also do not know how to stop it from making noise. Now, I know we've all gotten new phones and had to spend a little time, maybe a month or two, learning every little thing about how to make it work, what buttons do what, etc. But after watching a character use this same phone for at least 6 episodes which encompass at least 3-5 months of in-story time, there is no excuse!


Maybe they just really don't understand the technology? I find that, as a viewer, hard to swallow. Unless the character is a grumpy elderly person who just calls it the "talking brick" or something, that's just flimsy. I cannot believe I'm the only person who notices this.


But there is a solution. It's fairly universal and works on almost all phones. Just press the power or volume down button.


If it doesn't have those features, close it. Turn it face down. Press the large button in the center. Press ignore and then silence your damn phone so when they call back you won't have to hear the ring again. No one does any of these things! When the phone rings, they just look at it stupidly and then do the comedic struggle to get out of wherever they are to take their phone call in private, letting it ring loudly the entire time. Seriously, the entire walk, just loud ringing. Are they making sure that people know it's not a drill? That the phone is still persistently ringing several seconds later? Do they enjoy the generic shrill beeping? It makes no sense.

There are people in my life with a passion for weird ringtones and they will let their entire song play at least once before answering just because they enjoy the tune. But that isn't quite the same. No TV show that I've seen has anything other than the standard, pre-selected tone. So why do they just let it keep ringing as they make their way out of the scene?! WHY???

Characters in TV and FILM: Just leave your phone on silent. Always. Forever. Check it occasionally, since you will anyway even if the damn ringer is set to jackhammer decibels, and turn the vibrate on if you are expecting a very important call or text during a sensitive event LIKE A FUNERAL!

I just cannot believe I've never seen a single piece of footage where the character hears the phone start to ring and simply clicks the power button to silence it while he or she excuses themselves to take this very important, deus ex machina phone call.



I won't get my hopes up.
Anyway, this just really started to bug me and so I thought I would openly plea to anyone involved in film or TV to please just teach the characters how to shut off their ringtones and find some new way of covering lazy writing or plot holes.

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