Construction Project: I Should Not Be Up This Early

As anyone reading this blog knows, I am cursed to live with someone who has "project ideas" every so often. I won't say this comes entirely from Pinterest or YouTube, but I think we know I could say that.

The latest undertaking that I have been tasked with assisting is a home gym.

Let me tell you about my love of fitness. Let me shower you with ideas about weights and angles and safety.

That's right, I can't. Because I don't care. I don't care even a little tiny bit about fitness. Or gyms. Or building things. I'm a NonSteader. This means I like to take advantage of things that someone else has already put together like cell phones, cheesey puffs and Netflix. I don't want to have to build something. And even if I were going to help with the construction of  some sort of fitness machine, I would consider the very act of construction work-out enough!

I may be alone in my steadfast refusal to take part in anything remotely assembly-required, but what's even worse is something that involves building from scratch.

It's one thing if you want to test your relationship by making a pilgrimage to some giant furniture emporium that sells things that come in pieces in boxes with hex wrenches and instructions that consist mostly of pictures and foreign languages!

It is something entirely different when you want your loved ones to field trip to the local hardware store, measure, cut wood, cut metal or pipe, solder things together, weld, wire, glue, clamp or otherwise engage in things best left to professionals.

The very thought that you would want to use something after I have been involved in the construction of said thing is ludicrous. Honestly, I wouldn't use the shower head first after I had to install it myself one day last year. I waited until some other poor sap tested it out first. I know my limits. I know my skills. Handi-craft and manufacturing are not among them!

With that being said, if you ever find yourself working out at my house (which I can't really imagine happening, but you never know) maybe don't use anything that has been put together by anyone other than the original retail outlet.

So, today I am up bright and early and I am going to help build a gym. Let's all cross our fingers that I don't lose any.